Can I narrate my own stories?

Not currently.

(Translation: "Lol. You think Medium cares about creative integrity? We're the McDonald's of blogging, and if you don't like your stories being read by some soulless, demographically offensive automaton, then you can take your content elsewhere, because there's less chance of us implementing human voiceovers than there is of Tim Denning posting a story about polar bears wearing leopard print bikinis.")

p.s. Thank you for conforming. (:

—Medium Staff