In which I go on a mini-rant about the small talk myth and why introverts are much better at conversation than they give themselves credit for. (:
— Andrew, F the Lines
Introverts are supposed to hate small talk, but I don’t buy it.
I mean, I literally spend all day talking to myself and there is no way all of those thoughts are interesting.
If I stuck a recorder into my brain and then forced myself to listen to my own thoughts, half of them would bore me to death.
Sure, I spend a lot of time thinking about the universe and creativity and experimental music. But I also think about the weather. I grumble about politics. I repeat myself ad nauseam—and the only reason I don’t notice these things is that I’m not hearing them out loud.
Small Talk is Foreplay
When someone comments about the weather, what they’re really saying is, “Hey, I’d like to connect with you. Are you open for business?”
You do the same thing when you’re alone. You start out with boring thoughts and build rapport with yourself until a creative idea pops into your brain.
As human beings, we need to suck in order to not suck.
If you feel trapped in a boring conversation, it’s probably because you’re not contributing any energy—you’re sitting back and waiting for something interesting to happen instead of upping the ante and making something interesting happen.
So why not go all in?