[Mental Wealth] How to Deal With the Pain of Pushing Your Limits

This is a story about how arthritis destroyed my life at 29 and how I fought back by rerouting myself toward things I can still control. If you just want the step-by-step guide, skip down to the Process section. (:
— Andrew, F the Lines

July 2019—I’m sitting at the computer, staring at my outstretched hands like a videogame character who’s just inherited some magical power.

Except…the lightning bolts aren’t shooting out of my fingers, they’re shooting into them. I’m in pain, which is normal for someone who spends all day coding. What’s not normal is that my fingers aren’t recovering.

Over the past month, I’ve gone from powering through ten-hour code marathons to tenderly pecking at the keyboard for a few minutes at a time.

I’m freaking out because the keyboard is not only how I make my living (freelance web design), but also how I interface with reality. Writing, coding, illustrating, chatting, designing, researching…

Everything I love to do hurts.

My whole world feels like it’s been wrapped in electric fencing—and I’m fucking terrified.