My Friend is a Hedonist: It’s Killing Her…But is That a Bad Thing?

As a minimalist, it’s hard for me to watch someone else drown in abundance. I went on a mission to understand hedonism and see how I could help.

Props to the anonymous person who uploaded this ridiculous photo to Pexels.

I have this friend, Kathy. Actually, she used to be a college professor of mine. Over past five years, we’ve launched businesses together, worked as creative partners, taken road trips, and eaten lots of sushi. But if you saw us walking down the street, you’d be hard-pressed to find two more mismatched companions. On the surface, we’re perfect opposites:

I’m tall, sinewy, and measured, while Kathy is gregarious, big-hearted, and, as she so delicately puts it, “fat.” The differences play out in our day-to-day lives: her, fully experiencing the pleasures of the moment like a golden retriever, and me, whittling down my existence to the bare minimum like a grizzled woodsman.

We drift apart and back together, as friends do, so when Kathy sent out an email a couple weeks ago estimating that she only had “ten years left” I was shocked, but not totally surprised.

You see, Kathy is a self-described hedonist.

She trades surprise birthday vacations with a best friend every year. She’s a co-owner of the most delicious pizza restaurant in Baltimore. And, once, she even…