The “Happy When” Trap

“And that I’ll be happy when this happens or that becomes or it is finished and I am done. Oh, what an idea.”
— Braids, Happy When

I used to boil myself alive in the shower.

I did it when I was stressed. I’d turn the heat up repeatedly — nudging the handle further each time my body acclimated. It was a delay tactic designed to help me avoid the real world for as long as possible.

The trouble is, you can’t hide from stress. It’s a relentless hunter that follows you everywhere, whether you’re reliving the past (depression/nostalgia) or teleporting into the future (anxiety/craving).

Problem: The “Happy When” Trap

I was at Wegman’s a couple of months ago when I randomly saw an old friend from high school. I thought about saying hi until I started imagining the conversation we’d have…

Her: “So, what are you up to these days?”
Me: “I’m working on writing a book about creativity and I’m building a coaching business for freelancers.”

Her: “Cool! So how many clients do you work with?”
Me: “Well…none so far.”

Her: “Oh, ok. How’s the book coming?”
Me: “Umm…it’s just blog posts right now, and…uh…”
Me: *throws self off mental bridge*